33,000 Reasons to Squeeze a Stressball

By nature I think I am a worrier. Not so much about the trivial, day-to-day things, but about the big things... things that I feel I should have complete control over and be able to plan accordingly. Recently, I've been feeling somewhat anxious and overwhelmed about raising my budget to be a missionary associate. I have to raise approximately $33,000 in a little less than a year. As a recent college graduate with student loans and a salary that is a significant amount less than that number, sometimes I feel like raising the money will be impossible. It's scary. 

At a group meeting the other night, Dr. Martindale said the word, "powerless." He meant it in a good way, as in we are all completely dependent upon God. However, at the time, that word resonated within my heart because it described the desperation I feel when I think about my budget. Since the meeting, I've been thinking and praying a lot about this. To the core of my being, I know that God is calling me to Thailand next year. I just can't get away from that fact. So it's really time for me to step up and have the faith that He will provide. I know I have to do my part, but ultimately it's in His hands to provide. I'm powerless.

Yesterday I started reading "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day." Already the themes in that book are addressing what I need to hear. We serve a big God. He provides us with opportunities to better serve Him. Sometimes these opportunities seem scary and impossible, but He remains with us and hears our prayers. Well, I'm only on the third chapter, so I guess I still have a lot to glean from this book, but so far it's been challenging and reassuring. It also makes me want to attend the author's church, National Community Church in D.C. (They have some good podcasts too, see theaterchurch.com.) 

So, if anyone is reading this, please keep me in your prayers. I have a feeling that raising this money over the next year may be my personal lion. But I'm confident that this experience will only serve to strength my faith and reliance on God before the real adventure begins.