Back to the Future

A post about Evangel wouldn't be complete without a photo from Spence First South. I'd like to think we've gotten better with age, please keep quiet if you disagree.

Starting this week, I am now working part-time at headquarters in the Office of Public Relations and part-time at Evangel University, helping Dr. Martindale (who recruited me to go to Thailand) with all of his Southeast Asia endeavors. Today I was at Evangel and attended chapel for the first time since I graduated nearly four years ago.

I have to say, it was a little strange.

All of the students looked so young! I certainly don't think I look old, after all, I woke up this morning to a broken-out face, which always brings out that pubescent teenage look I'm going for...but surrounded by of all those 19 and 20 year olds, I realized I do look older than a majority of the girls at Evangel. Even if they do have clearer skin.

Instead of wearing jeans and a sweater from American Eagle, my standard winter ensemble throughout high school and college, today I was wearing black dress pants, a cardigan and heels.

Rather than sitting in my assigned chapel seat with all of my S1S floormates, I was sitting next to Dr. Martindale on the very first row. Yikes. I remember times as a student when I unintentionally stared at people in the front row for a creepy length of time because they were in my direct line of vision.

And I hate to admit it, but during the first worship song, I caught myself thinking that the tempo was just a bit too youthful for my taste. (Ah!!! I don't want to be one of those people!)

At some point during chapel, I was struck by the thought that there is something very similar between where I am now and where I was four years ago, during the spring semester of my senior year. I'm in a place where I have no idea what God has in store next.

Four years ago, this total lack of direction had me completely stressed out and praying some desperate prayers. Combined with the stress of the extracurricular activities I was involved in, those worries manifested themselves physically and I would have terrible chest and stomach pains. Thankfully, a few weeks before graduation, God answered my cries for direction by bringing up the possibility of going to Thailand.

Flash forward to today. As I've mentioned in prior entries, besides leading the two-month trip to Thailand this summer, I once again have no idea what the future holds. Only this time around, I'm not too stressed. Sure, there are moments when I wish I had some idea what I'll be doing five months from now so that I could plan for housing arrangements or a job, but ultimately, I'm at peace. I can look back and see how incredibly God has provided for me over the past four years and trust that He will continue to do so. He is truly so faithful. Really, I am amazed as I pause to reflect on all God has done in my life since my graduation from Evangel.

I hope that as I interact with Evangel students in the next few months there will be opportunities for me to encourage some seniors who are totally stressed out about their post-college plans. They can trust God with their futures, even when there's no writing on the wall or audible voice giving them specific instructions.

And when those moments of stress arise in my own life, I'll be reminding myself of the same thing.