Two Worlds

I'm not sure why, but I never experienced much culture shock when I moved to Thailand and I have yet to encounter any moments of drastic reverse culture shock since returning to Springfield. Of course there are times when I think, "I'm not in Thailand anymore!" or wish that America on the whole was less ethnocentric, but overall, the transition back has been fairly smooth. Easier than I anticipated.

Even with my job back at headquarters. I thought I would feel like I was suffocating after a few days back in the office with the 8-4:30 routine. Instead, I'm remembering how much I enjoy public relations work. Especially this past week as I've been given some new tasks that challenge me and require me to think in new ways. I get a thrill from learning new information, sharing communication and being a very small part of planning big events.

And the fact that I like it so much scares me.

When I was in Thailand I couldn't imagine going back to a desk job. My life there was so relational and so filled with activity. Every day was an adventure and I loved soaking up every little bit of culture that I could. I felt as if that was the only way that I could live the remainder of my life. I would never be content with living in America.

And now here I am. Certainly eager and excited to return to Thailand in a few months, but at the same time, working a job that interests me and that I'm good at. In those moments when my work is most exhilarating and my abilities seem to mesh with the task at hand, I get scared. I'm scared that I'll get too content and comfortable in this Springfield routine, trapped in a little safe Christian bubble.

I don't have any profound conclusions on all of this now. Just thoughts to ponder as I continue to wait for God's direction for my future. After the two months in Thailand this summer, I have no idea where I'll be living. It's exciting, but a little scary. Scary, not because of the unknown, but because I never want to settle.