Mmm mmmm mmm

Among the long list of things I'm really looking forward to in Thailand (falling somewhere in between fulfilling what God's called me to do and the reportedly insane humidity) is eating authentic Thai food. 

Last night I went with a group of friends to a Thai restaurant in Joplin, Missouri, that has the reputation for serving some of the best Thai food in the area. And I definitely was not disappointed. We decided to eat family style, so I was able to try about eight different dishes and they were amazing. Some of them could have used a little more heat (as in spiciness) for my liking, but I'm sure that will never be the case once I get to Thailand. I've been told by friends who've already been there that my Thai friends will be impressed by heat tolerance... and I can't wait to push that tolerance beyond its limits!

If you've never eaten Thai food, you really should try it. I've always found it to be so much more flavorful and fresh than Chinese food, and usually a lot less greasy and heavy feeling. Yum, yum, yum... my only regret from last night is that I didn't get to take home any leftovers.

9.5 on the Conviction Factor Scale

1 John is a fairly small book, but, wow, can it be challenging.

As I was reading my Bible this morning over my old breakfast standby of Kashi Go-Lean and a banana, this verse really stood out to me (as it has several times before).

"Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did." 1 John 2:6

It's a short verse, but when we hold every aspect of our daily lives up to that standard, it's easy to see that we all definitely fall short. So I've decided to use this verse to help keep me accountable in my daily interactions and overall outlook. Here's to walking as Jesus did- a whole lot easier said than done!

If you haven't already read the previous post, read that first. Context is key here.

God already seems to be following through on his promise to provide.

I just got a call from Pastor Bradford's assistant at Central Assembly (my home church here in Springfield). She told me that in a board meeting last night, they decided to support me for $100 a month while I am in Thailand! Praise God!

I'm just blown away by the fact that last night, probably at the same time the board was meeting, the girls in my Bible study were praying for God to do miracles in helping me raise support. Sure, sure, it could just be a coincidence- but I'd rather call this a miracle.

Central's monthly commitment comes at just the right time and it is such an encouragement to me.

So as of right now I have $115 out of $2,077 of my monthly pledges raised. That may only be 5.5 percent, but I believe it will continue to grow. (Hint, hint- Mom and Dad, fill out those pledge forms!) I'm not sure how far along I am on my cash budget of $8,958 at the moment, but thanks to the generosity of others, it is growing as well.

Thank you to those who have given for following the Holy Spirit's leading and being a part of his work in Thailand. Please know that your support means so much to me and I am grateful that you have a heart for seeing Christ's love change lives on the other side of the world.

Some friends and I are having a Tuesday night Bible study this summer at my apartment and tonight was our first official meeting. Only four of us were able to attend this evening, but we still had a powerful time of sharing and prayer.

As my friend Charity took her turn praying for me, she prayed for requests concerning Thailand, such as my budget and certain anxieties, that I hadn't even mentioned. The words she said both challenged me and encouraged me. After we prayed, I had to thank her for being faithful to listening to the Holy Spirit.

One of the specific things Charity prayed for is that God would do a miracle in my finances, especially as I travel home this weekend and will have the opportunity to speak with Pastor Wade and David Crosby (the missions director for Penn-Del). Later, we discussed how sometimes we don't always pray for and expect miracles and I felt challenged to be bolder in that aspect of my faith. Earlier this week, I was reading a portion of a book that asked "What is it that God wants to be for me now that He couldn't be at any other time, in any other way?" As soon as I finished reading that question, I felt him answer, "Provider." 

It's becoming more and more apparent to me that I need to fully trust God to provide miraculously. Even if things still don't happen within the given timeframe, I want my faith to stretch and grow, so that when I do make it to Thailand, I will be able to minister with a heart that is fully dependent on the Lord.

If you're reading this, will you join me this week in praying for miracles? 

Other than attending my friend Bethany's wedding last Saturday and then spending the rest of Memorial Day weekend with my favorite friend Cammy in Columbia, Missouri, there hasn't been too much excitement in my life lately. (Although both of those events were wonderful and made it hard to go back to work on Tuesday.) I'll be doing some freelance writing for an AG teen devotional, so I'm thankful for an opportunity to make a little extra money while learning more about the Bible and hopefully helping teens deepen their own faith. I'm hoping that the editor will like my work and that I'll be able to write for them on a regular basis. Depending on how it goes, I may see if I can write some while I'm in Thailand to help supplement my monthly budget. 

Well, I can't really think of any other updates to share, but I know people always enjoy looking at pictures (I'm a blog stalker too), so here are a few from last weekend.

Baby Step Out in Faith

First, forgive the fact that I apparently had a lot of "junk in the trunk" as a child.

Second, please join with me in prayer that God will honor the baby-step out in faith that I took this morning. I found a relatively (compared to all the other insanely expensive) inexpensive plane ticket this morning to go home for the weekend of Friday, June 13 to Monday, June 16. After a short discussion with my mom, I went ahead and purchased the ticket, in hopes that I will be able to use that weekend to really kick up my budget raising efforts at home. So, while the motivation and inspiration were still coursing through my veins, I emailed the district missions director and my church's missions director to try to set up meetings for the short time that I'll be home. Depending on their responses, I'll also try to contact smaller, nearby AG churches to see if there's a chance they have a free Sunday night service.

Now that I am financially and emotionally invested in this short trip, I'm just going to have to pray that God will open doors that weekend for me to tell others about Thailand and the spiritual needs there.

It is my intention to be as honest and transparent as possible on this blog. So, I'm just going to give an update on my current emotional/spiritual state. 

I've been reading through Matthew recently and a few days ago I came to chapter 14, when Jesus walks on water. As I read the familiar passage I felt like I could completely relate to Peter in terms of my Thailand preparations.

Jesus says, "Come." Peter obeys, jumps in and for a few moments experiences the miraculous. Then he realizes the huge risk he's just taken and let's fear, apprehension and anxiety overcome his faith. He quickly begins to sink. Fortunately, Jesus is there to save him, but admonishes him for having such little faith.

Oh Peter. How quickly we modern-day Christians can judge you. He had just seen Jesus feed the five thousand! In that very moment he doubted he was witnessing Jesus walk on water! How could he doubt?

And yet, I doubt. Jesus said, "Come." I know he has. And I jumped in. Yet, fear, apprehension and anxiety have been waging war on my faith. I'm letting all the things I can't control, the "wind," guide my thoughts. Instead of looking back and seeing the many examples of God's faithfulness in my life, I'm looking at my budget and other logistical issues and saying, "this is impossible." 

I guess I wanted to write this as a way of clearing these doubts and thoughts from my head. I don't want to let my anxieties, insecurities and worries keep me from what God wants me to do. What kind of a life is that? I know it's something I struggle with but I'm trusting that God will use this time to help me overcome my tendency to worry, so that when I'm in Thailand, I can look back and once again be reminded of his faithfulness. 

I'm not sure how many people read this, but please keep me in your prayers. I'm realizing more and more that I'm not going to be able to do this on my own strength.

But, to end on a more encouraging note, two chapters later, Jesus promises Peter that he will be the rock he builds his church on. That's pretty good for such a doubter...